Secret relationship leads to tragedy

The following article is part of INSP’s Changing the Narrative series. It has been written as the result of the new journalism training academy, established in 2025 by INSP to provide people with direct experience of homelessness and poverty the opportunity to learn about journalism and the media, and to enhance their storytelling and written abilities. The training academy has two ambitions: to challenge media and public misconceptions about homelessness; and to tackle the lack of representation and diversity in newsrooms. The training academy will run again in September 2025 in INSP’s hometown of Glasgow, Scotland.

Let’s go back to October 2020, Ghana. Ama received a phone call from her boyfriend Kofi, arranging to meet at their usual hostel that evening. Later, Ama would say that their conversation was affectionate, with Kofi asking her to perform a personal grooming ritual that she often did for him.

Dressed in her usual outfit of brown tights, a black shirt and a scarf, Ama brought her essentials along to their usual room 111, which Kofi had already booked and where he was already waiting. At first, they simply spent time talking about his upcoming travel and her business.

As Ama later explained, she then prepared to groom Kofi as she usually did, and how he undressed and lay on the bed in readiness. She then described how a familiar situation turned dire when he became aggressive, attempting to force himself on her despite her protests. She explains how she felt panicked and in pain as he pressed down on her.

In a desperate bid to defend herself, Ama reached for a razor blade that Kofi had brought for shaving. In her testimony, she explained that in the darkness, she cut him without knowing exactly where, leading to a struggle that ended with Kofi seriously injured. She claimed that during the altercation, Kofi banged her head against the wall and they both fell, continuing to fight until she used a broken tile to stab him.

Ama vividly described a scene of panic and confusion as she tried to attend to Kofi’s wounds and called a friend for help. She says that her shock and inexperience with such a dreadful situation prevented her from seeking immediate medical assistance.

Kofi and Ama had known each other for years: they were childhood best friends, and it was only later that they became intimate. Ama’s father died when she was seven and her mum was pregnant with a second child. Alone, her mother couldn’t take care of Ama and her unborn child.

At the time, Ama’s mum was working as a maid in Kofi’s parents’ house and decided to give Ama to them – she simply wanted a better life for her daughter than her own experience as a maid. She knew that with this new wealthy family, Ama could go to school and be educated. The family already had two boys and a girl who were older than Ama, and life was great – they loved Ama like one of their own.

Kofi’s love for Ama was particularly intense and unconditional. Although he was three years older than her, they did everything together – going to school, eating and playing. Kofi was always overprotective of Ama; he loved her more than his own blood sister, and would make sure that everything that his parents did for him, they did for Ama too. He wanted to wear the same clothes as her, and sometimes people called them twins.

Even when Ama finished school years later and had started working, Kofi would pick her up, take her out for lunch and buy gifts for her. It was at this time they developed feelings for each other and fell in love. But their relationship had to be kept secret, because the family would never allow them to be together. Such a relationship was taboo in their culture – it was unacceptable to fall in love with your sister or brother, even if you were not biologically related. The only person who knew was Ama’s friend, but she too was sworn to secrecy.

Because of the need for secrecy, Kofi would always book a hostel where they would usually meet to talk about their lives together and how they would let their parents know about their plans to get married.

Just a few months later, Kofi was offered a scholarship to go and study abroad. It was a big opportunity, but he didn’t want to travel and leave Ama behind.

By this stage, Kofi had become obsessed with Ama, to the point that he didn’t want her talking or being close to any other men. He would get aggressive every time he saw a man around her. Ama became scared of him and his obsession with her. To keep things calm, she would do whatever Kofi asked her to. Ama knew it was a bad situation, but she was afraid to get help or talk to anyone about it because Kofi always asked her to keep their relationship a secret, and she always obeyed him.

The fight in the hostel room was the culmination of an increasingly difficult situation. Ama always maintains that she did not intend to kill Kofi; in fact, she continued to express her love for him despite the turbulent nature of their relationship. She says that her love story was tragically cut short.

For Ama, falling in love with Kofi was like holding a candle. When it is aflame, it lights up the world around you, but then it starts melting and hurts you. In the end, it goes out and everything is darker than ever, and all you are left with is your burns.