This article was originally published in Faktum.
PLEASE NOTE: this article contains reference to suicide.
In April 2023, I attempted to take my own life to get to a better place. I survived my attempt to poison myself, but suffered internal physical damage, so nowadays I drink no coffee, no sugar, and today I feel quite well. Not like in the past, but a lot better.
Five years ago, I started going to St Matteus’ Church in Malmo. It was during my visits to Crossroads, City Mission, located in the same area, that I discovered the nearby church. I love it, and like to go there to relax. Sometimes I’ve slept there, sometimes eaten there. It was also there that I met my girlfriend.
Previously, I stayed at Vallhem, a night shelter for people with addiction problems. It doesn’t suit me so well, but it was okay, and I stayed there nine months, until they realised that I don’t have a residence permit. I also lived with my girlfriend for a period, but then she got evicted and had to move in with her mother. Now I live here and there.
I grew up in southern Buenos Aires, in a small part of town called Banfield. People believe it is super poor and miserable all over South America and that everyone dances salsa, but I’ve never danced the salsa or had tacos. I come from a nice middle-class area. My dad studied biochemistry and sold products to hospitals, and my mum is a pottery teacher. I had a good upbringing but started to feel mentally unwell in my teenage years and dropped out of school when I was 16. I was just sitting by the computer at home and my mum and dad were worried. They sent me to a psychiatrist and tried to help me, but I spiralled.
In my younger teens, I dreamt about being a drummer. My favourite bands were Guns N’ Roses, Metallica and Sepultura. Ramones were also really big in Argentina. As a kid, I listened to Roxette. They were in Argentina in 1992. I remember that I saw them on TV and that they performed playback. It made me upset. I fantasised about meeting Marie Fredriksson one day, so maybe it was a subconscious choice that I eventually made my way to Sweden. I arrived 2004 after periods in Brazil and Germany. I was 22.
To be with my girlfriend is what matters to me today. I would love to one day show her Argentina.
Translated from Swedish via Translators Without Borders
Courtesy of Faktum / INSP.ngo
